Queen and Mother extraordinaire, Dee Dee Marie Holliday, gives us a front seat to her life beyond Drag, and her proudest achievement to date— raising daughters that thrive.
The music stopped and the lights turned off. We’re thinking maybe there was a power outage or something. And then suddenly “Shake Your Groove Thing” started to play and the Queens came out of nowhere and began performing. I was shocked, and amazed, and I wanted to pee, but I did not want to leave because it was so exciting for me! It was the first time I saw a drag queen up close, right in front of me, lip synching like their lives depended on it. I thought to myself, “I can do that. I can totally do that.”
What started as a typical night out in 2009 became a pivotal point in the life of Dee Dee Marie Holliday. She walked into O-Bar Malate thinking it was just another regular bar, but instead was introduced to a world greater than anything she had ever imagined. It was in this moment of reverence and exhilarated wonder that she was birthed into being. “My boyfriend and I befriended the Queens after their show, one of them arranged for an audition, and the rest is history,” she proudly shares.
During a time when she was rid of any confusion about her identity, her encounter with the world of drag hit her like a revelation. “There was a period of my life that I thought I might be trans, actually. Because I sometimes wanted to present as female, but then I realized that it’s not actually an identity for me, it’s just something I like doing which is why I got into doing drag. It’s not a crucial part of my identity, it’s just one of the things I’m passionate about— performing in an exaggerated female form, but without necessarily identifying as female.”
Answering to a divine calling, Dee Dee rehearsed for that audition for three weeks. “I didn’t have any costumes. I just bought something from the mall. There weren’t any tutorials I could follow at that time, my only references were from magazines and the movies. Luckily, they liked my performance, so I must have done something right,” she says with a hearty laugh. “I got a spot in their newly opened branch in Ortigas, and the Queen I auditioned for became my Drag Mother, who went on to star in Drag Race Thailand, Season One.”
The House of Holliday
“My Drag Mother, Mama Jaja, moved to Thailand in 2013. She was my mentor and helped me through everything. By the time she left, I was already an established entertainer. I was well known in the drag underworld in Metro Manila, but I also received invitations to make appearances and perform in different cities. So, I thought, what’s next?”
O-Bar was expanding and they were in search of new queens. Girls came in to audition and Dee Dee was particularly drawn to two of them, “I thought they had a similar style to what I was doing— very Broadway, very dramatic. I decided to offer to take them under my wing and be their mentor— their mother.”
“I felt like I wanted to do something more meaningful. I wanted to share my knowledge — everything about my craft — and help other younger queens perfect their craft. Without hesitation, that’s how it all began. I started with Gigi and Vinas, and then about six months later, I took in MC Black under my wing as well.”
After four years of performing, Dee Dee started her own house— the House of Holliday.
Call me, “Mama”
“When we came together as a House, of course it was all about the performances, makeup, and the shows. Later on, it got to a point where I had to make myself available for them. They would open up to me about their personal problems, issues with their families, or anything that they needed help with. I was present for them emotionally, and sometimes even financially.
They were in their early 20’s when we started, but I think I’ll probably become a grandmother soon. It’s very endearing. They refer to me as “Mama”, I’m Mama Dee Dee. Before every performance, they would always ask for my advice or my approval, but of course, there were also times where they would grow horns. [laughs]
We support each other, and we play off each other when we’re performing on stage. When they perform on their own, I make sure to go out of the dressing room and watch them. I’m always their biggest cheerleader, and I know my support means a lot to them.”
Fighting for the rights to just be themselves
In reference to the American drama series, POSE,* Dee Dee mentions how the lives of those on the tv show really resonate with the experiences of LGBTQ+ people in the local drag community. “No matter where you’re from, it’s the same discrimination. We are being ostracized just for being who we are, and made fun of for performing in female clothing. Not everyone appreciates what we do, even up to this day.”
“It’s already 2021 and people still refer to us as transvestite comedians, and that is just so offensive. We’re more than that. We are works of art. Our bodies and our souls are our canvas— we transform ourselves into an outrageous, out of this world entity to entertain. How dare they call us transvestite comedians? I don’t even know comedy. Sure, I’ll do funny numbers from time to time, but I’m not a comedian. Stop referring to me as a comedian. I am a drag artist, I’m a drag entertainer. I am a Drag Queen.”
Dee Dee continues to explain the discrimination they experience on a regular basis, and even the harsh contempt that goes on within the LGBTQ+ community itself. From restroom debates and confrontations, to the lack of common courtesy from staff at parties, and even the blatant fat-shaming while she’s performing on stage— it’s a constant and relentless battle. The fact that there are too many to specify is devastating.
“I am proud that my children know how to stand up for themselves and defend themselves— online and even in real life. I think that’s something I was able to somehow teach them, to speak their minds and not be afraid of retaliation, especially when they know they’re in the right.”
On to bigger and better things
“The highlight of our house has been the honor and privilege of hosting the very first Drag Brunch event in Manila. I got to experience this when I performed in the US, and we wanted to bring that here. Luckily, we found someone who was interested, and we launched the very first one back in January 2020. We sold out tables for brunch, twice a week, and we were booked for the entire year. Until the pandemic happened. But it was very successful prior to that.
We look forward to bringing that back. It’s so much fun, and it’s what I’m most excited about— especially since I will be performing with my children. I’m so proud of them. I helped them hone their hosting skills, so they’ll also be hosting the show.
When I started out as a Drag Queen, I really only had to worry about myself and my own performance. Now, I really take the time to make sure my children look flawless, and their performances are fabulous.
My children are actually now more popular than me, and I couldn’t be more proud. They were able to surpass what I have achieved, and have become very successful in their own right, and I can’t take the credit for that.”
A house built on love and support
As a seasoned professional, well established in the drag world, it’s no surprise that Dee Dee has received many requests from younger queens to be taken under her experienced wing. The current pandemic has proven to be difficult for so many of us, and the House of Holliday is no exception.
Dee Dee also mentioned how some (heterosexual) mothers have reached out to her, asking for advice on how to support their children who might be gay. Sharing some insight, Dee Dee says, “If we could all have a very supportive environment, there would be a lot less LGBTQ+ kids committing suicide or harming themselves.” She continues, “For the LGBT community, the suicide rate among gay kids is just higher than our counterparts, and it’s primarily because we don’t have a strong support system.”
“We have to be able to tell them that it’s gonna be okay. You’re fine. There are people who love you. And if your blood family does not accept you for who you are, you always have the option to make your own family who will love you and accept you as you are. That’s what’s great about having houses, or having a drag family, or an LGBTQ+ group of friends who feel differently than their own family.”
Respect has to be our default setting
When it comes to dealing with a world that can be cruel and isolating, it’s important that we continue to move forward with compassion and understanding— the absolute bare minimum in kindness. While others aren’t as accepting and open to the opinions and choices of others, it really boils down to starting with ourselves and those closest to us.
“Generally speaking, homophobes have this argument that we do not respect ourselves because we don’t acknowledge what we were born with. They only say that as an excuse to validate their disrespect under the guise of respect begets respect.
I don’t believe that respect must be earned. I think by default, you just have to be respectful, even if it’s a stranger. Just because you don’t know me doesn’t mean I don’t deserve your respect. Wouldn’t it be more beautiful if we were all just respectful to one another, no matter the background, the status, or whatever. Even if you don’t know the person, just be respectful by default. You don’t know what people are going through. A little show of respect can go a long way. It can actually save a life.”
The bond between mother and child is an important and formative relationship. Whether it’s a biological mother, adopted, chosen, or anything in between — we all know the power of a strong matriarchal figure, and we all have one that comes to mind almost instantly. As far as validation is concerned, well, Dee Dee has something to say about that, too.
“You may not see me as a mother, and that’s fine. I respect your opinion. But I was able to support and raise three amazing human beings. And that’s more than enough for me as a drag mother.”
Mic drop.
Curtains close.
*POSE is an American television drama series, based on the lives of New York City’s African-American and Latino LGBTQ+ and gender-nonconforming drag ball culture scene in the 1980s and early 1990s. Featured characters are dancers and models who compete for trophies and recognition in this underground culture, and who support one another in a network of chosen families known as Houses. (Season 1-2 are now streaming on Netflix)
Feature image courtesy of Dee Dee Marie Holliday
Feature written by Thea Arvisu
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