Buzzkill conversations that nobody looks forward to and everyone should avoid
This past year has forced us all to take a really good look inwards. And while we’re all trying to figure out how to survive and rethink our life choices, it might do everyone some good to also take a look at the things that are out of our control, but affect our space and energy.
We’re talking about the infamous cringey conversations during family gatherings, and there’s nothing quite like the ones that are hurled right at you during the holidays. Sure, there are plenty of families that (oddly enough) only express love and support, but for normal Filipino families, we’ve all got that Tita that asks why you’ve gained way too much weight, or an uncle that always asks how your son isn’t into playing sports.
As unwelcome as these questions, comments, and types of behavior are, they have become the benchmark of family parties both locally and abroad. So, we’ve identified some of the most common toxic family figures that you can avoid, not just during the holidays, but all throughout the year.
The Awkward Solicitor
The one that always asks you for gifts/money for their kids. Let’s try to be more considerate of the fact that some families might have taken a substantial financial hit in 2020. And putting someone on the spot during family gatherings is just not fucking cool.
The Shallow Hal
The one that never misses an opportunity to comment on your physical appearance (in a not so nice way). How this was ever considered appropriate is beyond me. The truth is, if someone wants to point out physical flaws, they should probably start with themselves.
The Nunya / The Buttinsky
The one that always asks about things that are nunyabusiness, like “When are you going to have another baby?” or “Why isn’t your child walking yet?”
Really?? Keep it moving, Tita. I have pancit to get to.
The IMO Monster
The one that opens with, “in my opinion” and offers advice and solutions for your life, when you didn’t even ask for these to begin with.
Because who doesn’t love being grilled during a celebration?
Tita Take-Out
The one that assumes she can bring home food for her family (that didn’t attend the party), way before the festivities have ended. Emphasis on assumes.
It’d be wise to remember that there are still other people waiting to eat, or maybe there will be other guests arriving? Basic manners, amirite?
If the host insists though, then by all means, go for it.
Like most things in life, I personally try to handle annoyances like these with patience and grace. Many of our cultural social habits are merely a byproduct of the environment we were raised in. I myself have been guilty of every single thing on this list at one time or another and it took some awkward situations for me to become fully aware of my bad manners.
You might be lucky enough to be afflicted by none of the above, or you might be serving every single one of these at the dinner table later! At the end of the day, this year has been extraordinarily challenging and tactless Titas need not add to the pile-up.
We hope that the merriment of the holidays will override any annoyances, and that everyone stays safe and healthy as we close out one hell of a challenging year.
Merry Christmas, Mamas!
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