Dear Mom,
Growing up, I just didn’t get it. You were so hard on me. You said that one day I would understand, and all I could think was “Yeah, right! Ok.”, with my back turned, as I rolled my eyes. The only thing that would be in my mind was that you just didn’t get it. You didn’t get me.
I continued to drift away, until I completely moved away. I felt like I needed to be alone, and not be told what to do, or how to live my life. I craved independence, being on my own, and doing what I wanted at my own time. I decided that I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else, just me.
On April 11, 2013 my daughter was born. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I didn’t know how I was going to get through it all. I felt so overjoyed, but so scared of messing it all up at the same time. I remembered looking for you, Mom. I needed you to tell me it was going to be ok, and without hesitation, there you were by my side. You never left me alone because you wanted to support me, like you always do.
With only one month into motherhood, I learned more about you than I had in my 25 years of life. I know I wasn’t the easiest teen, or even young adult to deal with, but you always stuck with me. You’d stay up all night waiting for me to come home, even though you had to be up at 7am for work the next day. You would drive me around to finish all my errands on your only day off. You raised five kids, worked a full time job, and maintained a spotless home filled with love.
After countless hours of wondering how you were able to survive what we all put you through, and how you continued to love us the way you do, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride. I’m so proud to be your daughter. You are the woman I aspire to be. All of a sudden, I wasn’t so worried about becoming a mother, because you taught me everything I needed to know. Finally, it clicked. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand me. Maybe I should have made an effort to try and understand you, but everything you did was your true purpose- to show me love. This is the greatest gift you have given me. I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you, but I will share this love with my children in hope, that one day, if they start to drift away, they too will understand.
Love you forever, Mom.
Krystle
Featured Image by: photography.katabara.com
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